People,daily life characters that we miss now

In my childhood and for readers who are of my generation or earlier, there are vivid memories of people whom you used to encounter on an almost daily basis and that set of people are close to extinction now atleast in the big cities and in near future they will completely vanish. Let me give a few examples of this 1) Gorkha(the night watchman) – this person used to do the night rounds with a heavy stick in his hand and his cries of “jaagte raho” still echo in my ears. He used to come every month and then with a pleasant smile would just say – “Shaabji,salaam” and my mom/dad would give him some tip(Rs.10 that time for the whole month!!!) 2) Kapdewali(the clothes woman) – she was this woman who collected the old clothes from the ladies and in return would give stainless steel utensils.I was a witness to a lot of haggling by my mom with this lady for a bigger utensil in return for a set of old clothes.My mom ( a master negotiator)would say – “these are almost new clothes that I am giving and in return you are giving such a small utensil?”.Our tiffin box, glass tumblers, steel plates were all courtesy this lady. 3) Khari biscuit wala(biscuit vendor) – this guy was a big hit with us kids.He will get the naankhatais, kharis, biscuits in his big aluminium box tightly strung to his cycle and the smell of these would make me go bonkers.I used to love his visits to our house.My mom would take a few varieties and that would delight me no end. 4) Icecream wallah (vendor) – this vendor would push his hand cart and would lure us kids into purchasing icecream sticks .I used to love the mango variant,there was no scare of any infection, sore throats or of any hygiene related apprehensions. I am sure ,you have some more fond memories of such people that I may have missed. Do write about them and let us recollect those days when such self-employment opportunities were not threatened by the big retailers….

Dream, we must!!!

This topic came, not in my dream, but while reading HBR that was given by my boss a few days back. HBR article mentioned how practicing in dreams can improve one’s performance. A research mentioned that when people imagine practicing a skill or sport during ”lucid dreaming”, the state in which a sleeping person recognises he’s in a dream and takes control of it, their performance in that activity improves in real life. Astounding, I thought and absurd some may say!!! Some 50 years ago, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered that historic speech “ I have a dream…”(if any one of you haven’t heard or read that speech ,then you should).Eventually, America found their first Afro-American President in Barack Obama.What is significant here is that this dream was not dreamt during best of times but to the contrary was in worst of times.(when the blacks didn’t even have the voting rights) Nearer, here in India, in 1999, when our telephony and communication systems were pathetic, Dhirubhai Ambani dreamt of a digital India that was affordable to the common man(a mobile call at the cost of a post card was the brief given to the Reliance project team) With every product, service costing more and more, Ratan Tata dared to dream of a NANO. Mahatma Gandhi dreamt of a free India when our country was enslaved for more than 3 centuries.. Dream we must, that we all know. What needs to be taken from this is that dreams processed by these great men were during the most troubled or testing times. And, on the sheer strength of their dreams, people, organisations and countries stood by them to make their dreams come true.. Come, let us dream and let the sheer strength of our dreams make the world stand by us…

Human tendencies

We feel irritated by bores or fools and have little patience with those whose opinions differ from ours. Nonetheless we put up with them because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. But there are some who have no such inhibitions, and a few who actually seem to take a perverse pleasure in showing their resentment openly, particularly when they know that, because of their higher positions, they themselves are immune from the same treatment Take for example one of my previous bosses. Whenever HE was on a tour, we used to feel relieved as we could have a cup of coffee and a bit of chit chat (which was at such a premium when HE was around) but then HE would make it a point to call up any of our desk phones & not hand phones just to make sure we were sitting and working and not wasting our time. That used to irk us no end. Calling at odd hours and demanding an update of an ongoing project was HIS pet pastime.To keep us on our toes all the time(including potty time) gave HIM perverse pleasure. Why is it symptomatic of people who are in position power? To have people at their beck and call gives them a high. A boss making his subordinates wait for a meeting is a sign of rudeness, lack of respect for other people’s time and his own indiscipline. What we all need irrespective of our position, caste or creed is mutual respect and tolerance.There is so much that we TALK and so little that we DO. Let us co-exist with dignity, love and peace.

Blogging - Passion or a chore?

Blogging - Passion or a chore? Writing one blog a month is what I had committed to myself. I managed to do that for quite some time and then I lost my commitment to this blog writing. Then, I told myself – “If I missed one month, I will write 2 blogs the next month and make up for the blank that I drew the last month.” I started writing on this basis. Slowly, I skipped 2 months without blogging. I said to myself – “That’s ok, I will make up next month by writing 3 blogs” My targets kept increasing and what I started as a passion turned into a painful chore. I then realised what I was doing. I started to cheat myself by making wrong commitments .If I make a wrong commitment to myself then how will I ever make commitments to others and honour my word? Now, this is what is bugging me. I hope to correct myself and start writing blog every month. This is a new beginning… Happy Dussehra to you all.

Issue based not person based

When parents say – “you got 65% marks in maths, that’s bad!!! No TV for you for the rest of the year”. At no point in time they meant  - “I don’t love you”. What they have rejected is your actions and not YOU.

Let us study this common occurrence in the Indian culture -

Girl gets married to a boy and then takes up the duties in her new house. One of those duties is say – cooking.She prepares dal, curry and chapatis.Curry is spicy and the boy’s family doesn’t eat spicy food.The first reaction after eating the curry from the boy’s mother – “what spicy curry , we don’t prepare it like this!!!”. The girl starts thinking – what is this? Whatever I do they don’t like, on the contrary the mother-in-law also starts thinking – what a girl we chose, she doesn’t even know how to cook.

In all this, we need to remember that what needs to be rejected is the ACTION and not the PERSON. This will liberate us from the false imagery that we tend to make and stop being judgemental.

When a salesman tries to sell his product to customers, they will have reasons not to buy – high price, they don’t feel its need, they are happy with the product of another company and many such reasons.When they reject the product, they are not rejecting the sales person, are they?

A giel straightens her hair and asks her boyfriend for a feedback and he says – “You looked gorgeous when your hair was curly “.The girl gets upset and starts sulking and stops talking her boyfriend.What has her boyfriend done here? On asked for a feedback, he gave his opinion, he never said – “I don’t love you anymore”. So, he rejected her action of straightening and not HER.

Life is simpler when we understand that  rejection is of  the ACTIONs and not the PERSONs.

Good or Bad

There is so much of “bad” in this world that we can easily find them , point them out and also make a list of them…

There are shortcomings in an organisation, family, individual. Any idiot can find out the mistakes/faults , it is not a great achievement to find these faults.

It takes an able and noble minded person to find out the GOOD in a person/organisation/family. It takes a lot to acknowledge another person’s goodness,isn’t it?

What I can see through my bedroom window on a rainy day is either the fresh green trees or the muddy slush created from the rain water. I need to choose what I want to see from my window of life. I will see only what I want to see.

There is so much goodn in the worst of people and there is so much of bad in the best of people.What do we want to see through the spectacle that is our mind??

I take a resolve to be a habitual good finder than be a fault finder. And  You?

Written today by Krishna Pendyala for Sri Chandresekhar Nair(Daffodil)

MY RESOLVE

To plan for what you want 10 years from now is foolhardy; to not know what you want by the end of this year is again, foolhardy!!!

What’s important is to understand our objectives, measure them, track them, keep them realistic, specific.

Goals and Objectives are never ambitious, timelines are ambitious.

My resolve is to see worth in other people and make them aware of their worth.

In my times of despair,  God was always there in the form of a human soul to support,push , drive and showed me the way.There were times when I didn’t trust my abilities but I always found a few others who trusted in my abilities more than me.I have reached to this position and place not on my own steam alone but others’ belief in me..

Now, its my turn to give the world what the world has given to me.BELIEF…

Till they find their self-thur, I will be their thrust, till they find their self-belief, I will be their self-belief

I will be that propelling force that will show them that are better than they think they are.The world helped me see my future, I will now help the world see theirs….