My Struggle for fitness

I wake up one morning to find that I’m having trouble getting into my favourite jeans.
I think the pants have shrunk somehow but the weighing machine disagrees, as
does my double chin, so I decide on getting into shape. I go searching for health and fitness books that will help me to regain the lost shape. I start reading all the books one by one and  cajole(wanted to write "order" - but could not muster enough courage) my wife to make some exciting munchies to go with the reading. At the end of it all, the result – I add another 2 Kilos of girth around my shapeless body.

 I define my mission statement -" Lose weight,Build muscles and fit into my favourite jeans within 3 months"

My friends recommend a more active approach, like joining a gym,
so I do. The next Sunday was well spent at the nearby Reebok stores.I purchase all the relevant gear – sleeveless T-Shirts( tight one – that will remind me of the extra fat has to be lost),a track pant and jogging shoes to complete the training kit.A trendy water bottle is the final impulse purchase(so much of sweat that needs to be replenished with sweet lime juice!!)

Next day at the gym – I get intimidated with all the Arnold Schwarzeneggers ,Samsons flexing their muscles, pumping iron and flaunting their chiseled bodies.I rue the decision of wearing my sleeveless T-shirt that showcase my extra fat with muscles hidden somewhere down below.I gingerly walk up to the trainer and tell him of my “Mission statement”. He smiles at me and loads me onto the treadmill. He punches in a few buttons and the treadmill starts purring into action.Technology is so good,I wonder. I start with a slow walk and the auto-program increases the speed and I see myself jogging at 8km/hr speed.I notice the person next to me running at 12km/hr.The male ego in me prompts me to increase the speed to 12km/hr.I start running ,now the motion gets uncontrollable and don’t knpw how to stop this technology!!I shout for help and before the trainer can respond,I end up falling on my rear.Thud!!I have broken my tailbone(it is called the Coccyx injury),says my doctor. So much for the technology.

It takes me a few more months to recuperate and to my horror,I find, I have added a few more kilos.

My wife suggests a more safe and natural remedy – jogging in the open - traditional way.

I wake up at six the next morning, put on a track suit and hit the road, The nip in the morning air gets me charged.I love this outdoor jog.Barely have I crossed our society limits,I am chased by the stray dogs.I run for my dear life.The dogs are not wanting to give up.One of the dogs is now snapping at my heels.Some people see this grave danger and manage to shoo away the canines.A lucky reprieve.My legs are still shivering with fright.Enough of these outdoor morning jogs, I declare.

The next morning, I drive to the nearby park and start my light stretches before starting my jog. In one of the stretches, I hear something snap in my thigh. I limp back to my car and pay another visit to the doctor. He is enjoying this sudden increase in his income that coincided with my efforts to regain fitness. The Doc gives his diagnosis – it’s a hamstring injury.

It hurts to even walk, so I turn to dumbbells for getting some muscles in shape.I bend to pick up the weights and my back gives!!Now, its hurting even to stand.I end up on the bed(the doc this time has given me a discount based on the frequent flyer points I accumulated)

Another month of rest and I have already used up my quota of sick leaves.My mission statement now looks like a vague, wishful statement.

Now, the advice is Swimming.It is good for the back and it is a wholesome exercise, opines my friend – Sudesh. Another visit to the Reebok stores and I am the proud owner of goggles, swimming trunk, ear plugs and the shower cap. Next morning,I visit our society swimming pool.I somehow maneuver into my trunks and jump in at the deep end. It takes Sudesh and two more people to get me out of the water and four more to resuscitate me. I survive,again!!

Now, the mission statement is very clear. I am sure you guys can second guess it

Buy new jeans!!!